notoday&fasfem ring
And that moment arrives. You had an idea, a plan, a dream. You have already begun to make it happen, in real life or in your imagination. Doesn’t make big difference in which one of those. But here we are now, and bumps appear in your road. Things get harder, your feminine side, the softer one that helps you feel and create, is being bullied. You don’t need this. You ‘re thinking about giving it all up.
It is understood. No one wants to be treated like that. But you keep forgetting something. This side of you that feels like keeping you behind, is actually your super power. Malleability. Yes, you are malleable. Remember all you have been through. How many times were you told you should give up, that there’s little room for you here, that your sensitivity is a fault, your ideas a utopia? More than few.
But you are still here, aren’t you? You bend but you don’t break. Just change shape, get sculpted and polished and beautiful. Yet, your essence remains…
You are like a jewel.
We, Maria and Ioanna, are so much aware of this. We really know and get you. So we have decided to become a reminder for you. With a piece of silver. Maria sculpted it and Ioanna infused her symbolisms in it. And metal became ring. A ring to wear in your small finger, with your feminine power graven on it, made of silver, tough yet malleable.
To look down at it and remember. That we all are in this together.
Now move on…you ‘ve got this!
The notoday&fasfem ring has been created as a love song to femininity and with a strong belief in gender equality. So we have decided to donate a part of the money you will pay for it to Diotima Centre as a support to their cause.
* By donating to Diotima Centre, we help women and femininities, who lack the financial and social resources necessary to live a life free of gender-based violence.
** You can find the ring at notodaystudio .
Sex and the Female
There was this episode at the first season of Sex Education where Maeve decides to have an abortion. The young girl got accidentally pregnant but was not sure about her feelings towards the boyfriend or motherhood altogether. She was the traumatized child of a drug addict mother, so charismatic yet so confused. The abortion clinic was a place where she could find comfort and care during this horrifying moment in her life..
In case you have been wondering - I know I have - clinics about birth control are not newly established facilities. The first ones were mobile clinics established by Marie Stopes, a controversial yet most influential figure in the British birth control movement. Stopes had published the book Married Love back in 1918, one of the first books ever to explain sex and sexual pleasure openly which was very much denounced by medical professionals, even though loved by the public.
Women back then you see didn't have the right to choose whether or not they wanted to be mothers. Sexual pleasure was out of the question for them as well. Even by early feminists who believed that a wife had the right to refuse sexual demands of her husband as a way of limiting the size of their families. Contraception existed of course but it was condemned by church and society in general. Methods included vaginal sponges soaked in quinine, injections of alum and water into the vagina and sheaths. All the above leaded to the fact that most women were almost always pregnant or breastfeeding.
Margaret Sanger knew all about that reality as her mother had died at the age 49 after 18 pregnancies. Qualified as a nurse, she saw impact of multiple pregnancies in a poor women. So she decided to act. In 1916, Margaret opened America's first birth control clinic in Brooklyn where the newly developed diaphragm was promoted. The clinic was of course illegal and 9 days after its opening Sanger was arrested. The publicity around this though kickstarted a birth control movement throughout the US.
No woman can call herself free who does not own and control her body.
Margaret Sanger
Sanger was of course a person of her time. She favored birth control - actually the first known use of the term was included in her radical feminist magazine ‘The Woman Rebel’ - but condemned abortion. She considered it a dangerous and something that should be prevented by proper use of birth control methods.
Biography of Margaret Sanger as a comic
by cartoonist
Peter Bagge
We should note here that both Sanger and Stopes were accused of eugenics. I understand this can frustrate you quite a bit. But before condemning a person about a certain behavior, we should consider the actual establishment they were acting through. Eugenics unfortunately was a common attitude among intellectuals at that time. No one though can deny the fact that their work on birth control was pioneering. They set the pace for birth control and abortion rights demands which re - emerged in the 1960’s to this day. Sanger as matter of fact was the founder of Planned Parenthood that continues to offer sexual health care globally. There is an organization's written opposition about her racist beliefs of course…..
Poster by Britain’s Health Education Council in 1969
But is birth control the only solution? I am thinking of Maeve again. A young girl who accidentally became pregnant. Birth control methods didn't work out as expected. How many women out there have been facing the challenge of an unwanted pregnancy every day? Becoming a mother means so many things - the impossibility of unbecoming a mother being one of them. You can’t go back you see. Motherhood will stick with you no matter what. So you should at least be able to understand and consider facts before you decide to take action…
Human beings with wombs have been in such a different place from those without them since the dawn of time. In the first book of German criminal law Constitutio Criminalis Carolina written in 1532, abortion was punishable by drowning. Yes, women were drowned. Only them of course. Not their male counterparts. They were usually not even exposed. Because their body, incapable of pregnancy and giving birth, was giving them the right to do so. But what about a woman’s rights?
As women keep on dying or being seriously injured by committing to illegal abortions to this day, abortions have become central issue in feminist movements. Abortion laws have gradually been reforming over the years from early 1900s to 1970s, which was the decade with the most significant changes over this issue. The legal case that led to abortion being legalized at federal level in the US was Roe v. Wade in 1973. It concerned Norma McCorvey, who had become pregnant with a third child in 1969. Her case was constructed by Linda Coffee and Sarah Weddington, two lawyers who filed suit on her behalf under the alias Jane Roe. The case finally reached the Supreme Court which ruled in favor of Roe declaring Texas laws unconstitutional. Abortion fell within the parameters of the right to privacy.
For more information about the case you can click to the buttons below:
Abortion had been legalized beyond the States as well. In 1971 the Manifesto of 343 was signed by 343 women who had had illegal abortions in France. The text which was written by Simone de Beauvoir was the following:
“One million women in France have abortions every year. Condemned to secrecy they do so in dangerous conditions, while under medical supervision this is one of the simplest procedures. We are silencing these millions of women. I declare that I am one of them. I declare that I have had an abortion. Just as we demand free access to contraception, we demand the freedom to have an abortion”
Those women had the courage to declare publicly what was held a secret since forever. And it had a huge impact because three years later the first female minister in the French government, Simone Veil, was appointed Minister of Health. Veil drafted and pushed through the Veil Law which legalized abortion during the first trimester despite all the violent attacks by the far - right.
I will share a conviction of women, and I apologize for doing it in front of this assembly comprised almost exclusively of men: No woman resorts to abortion lightheartedly.
Simone Veil
Little did these remarkable women know about what the future held. The Roe v. Wade case has been recently overturned…In a historic and far-reaching decision, the U.S. Supreme Court officially reversed Roe v. Wade on June 24, declaring that the constitutional right to abortion no longer exists.
Writing for the court majority, Justice Samuel Alito said that the 1973 Roe ruling and repeated subsequent high court decisions reaffirming Roe "must be overruled" because they were "egregiously wrong," the arguments "exceptionally weak" and so "damaging" that they amounted to "an abuse of judicial authority."
The decision, most of which was leaked in early May, means that abortion rights will be rolled back in nearly half of the states immediately, with more restrictions likely to follow.
The news rapidly spread around the world. Marches were organized, TV panels were on fire, forecasters gave their opinions out loud…Even in countries like Greece where abortion laws seem to be unchangeable for the near future, people became peculiarly numb. And worried. And angry.
I, for sure, became worried. And angry at the same time. How was I suppose to process this? My mind was flooded with images of women like Maeve trying to find a solution for dealing with an unwanted pregnancy in a country were abortions are illegal. Images like the paintings of Paula Rego’s Abortion pastels series that were favored around the web these days.
I googled the triptych and stared it for a few minutes. Such despair…These women so strong yet so devastated. Looking into the void. As you can tell by the surroundings, they have been under procedures which were no legal nor safe. You can also tell that these women are not passive. They own their decision and the pain that comes with it.
But they deserved better, didn’t they? They shouldn’t have been alone. They should have had proper medical care. They should, in Paula Rego’s own words, have had the right to choose:
A woman’s body can never be considered her own after all. Patriarchy and its manifestations has intruded into the way the female body exists and dominates it. Somehow, after all these years, we keep coming back to same notions. I try to find the root of this need to exploit and suppress. Could it be intimidation by the Other? The one that has no male genitals. The one that bears the ability to bring new life into this world. The one that is sexually more complicated yet quite fascinating..
Maybe this is where it all comes to. Females shouldn’t express their sexuality because it threatens the conservative ideals about them. They should not express their desires nor their fears. They should be obedient. And were they daring enough to act, they should deal with the consequences of a sexual encounter all by themselves. Them sluts!
As I was starting to get even more frustrated, I came across this article in the 13nth issue of Riposte. It was about academic Katherine Angel and her book Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again: Women and Desire in the Age of Consent . There was something about her witty smile that instantly made me feel like there is hope. Made myself a cup of coffee and went through her interview.
-In recent years two requirements have emerged for good sex : consent and self - knowledge, she mentions. Consent as a yes or no dichotomy can’t be everything we want it to be. Language cannot say everything, especially for women, who have not been given the chance to shape it according to their own needs and desires.
So I am beginning to get it now. Consent is a way of making sure the sexual act should move forward but most of the time women do consent under the fear of taking a huge risk. Fear of being called sluts, of facing some kind of violence, of becoming pregnant. That can be worsen by the fact of not being free to decide over the unwanted pregnancy, even though it is her own body under that circumstance. All in all, a woman never feels truly free to experience pleasure …
Why is it so terrifying for our society to admit that women want to experience pleasure without wanting to become a parent? Why do we keep punishing them for being sexual beings like the rest of the animals on the planet? And let us not forget - Katherine notes, the long history of considering sex as something (mostly heterosexual) women give in exchange for other things. Like there is no female desire, they only act on gaining profit to get what they really want. And they should be punished for such behavior. Absurd but true.
Is there any hope? I am thinking yes. There is. Stay with me here…
We should consider that women still feel the need to be sexual, to find joy, to move forward and beyond stereotypes. They fight, and push and demand change. Researching for this article made that quite clear. I began to smile.
It is really difficult to upturn beliefs that have been established for centuries. I can understand that now. People tend to fear change. They feel safer doing what has been done. Those who are privileged lack the tones of empathy that it takes to step back and acknowledge the inequity. We see it literally everywhere. What started in the US this summer has allowed voices from the darkest corners to rise again and spread their poison. We witnessed that from a man of the cloth recently in Greece claiming that raped women who got pregnant enjoyed the intercourse…These are dangerous people who belong in the past.
We need to survive. Women need to survive. Should you ask for my point view, they also need to thrive. So we will do whatever it takes to save the hardly gained rights and push for more. Until every human female on the planet has the right to own her body and her choices. Until equality becomes reality.
Maeve chose to have the abortion alone. But there was a gentle male friend of hers who decided to be there, who wouldn’t leave her helpless. Who supported her choice. Who even stood up against anti abortion protesters outside the clinic. Who gave her a hug afterwards and asked nothing in return.
Maybe there is still hope.
*If you are facing the abortion dilemma yourself and are in need for some privacy, click here for useful information.
Sexism is Big in Japan
Let me begin with a story I used to hear a lot when I was growing up. A great grandmother of mine got married at the age of 13. Being a teenage girl, she hadn’t got her period started. Not just yet. Her husband was very young as well. And totally unaware about menstruation. He demanded of her to get pregnant right away. As you can imagine this didn’t happen. So to punish his girl - wife for not giving him a child, he made her cook huge meals and invited his male friends over to eat. She was forced to serve them while she was starving. The torture came to an end as she started getting her period and got pregant to her first child. Then she was allowed to her fundamental right of …you know..EATING.
That story dates back to Greece of early 1900’s. It hit my memory while I was searching for information about a woman’s role in Japan these days. I had just come accros this statement of Minister of Health, Labor and Welfare Hakuo Yanagisawa in 2007 -women are childbearing machines. Under existing gender norms you see, giving birth and raising children is still considered a woman’s main contribution to Japanese society.
Few months ago, while in preparative state for the Tokyo Olympics, Momoko Nojo run a petition campaign that gathered 150,000 signatures in just two weeks. The #DontBeSilent campaign helped oust Tokyo’s Olympic chief Yoshiro Mori for his sexist remarks. He appeard to have claimed that women talk too much and that meetings with many female board directors would "take a lot of time". Nojo used her hashtag on social media platforms and the response was so huge that Mori was forced to resign and be replaced by Seiko Hashimoto, a woman who has competed in seven Olympic Games.
I decided to search a little further. You see I couldn’t put my mind to the fact that the world’s third largest economy remained chauvinistically oriented. But it did. Another campaign had taken place in 2019. Yumi Ishikawa a young actress, writer and temp worker, created #KuToo movement. It was a campaign calling for an end to female workers having to wear heels. And of course it evolved from a shoe thing to a wider debate around Japan’s culture. Meaning of things we wear proves to be far more deep than we imagine, as always…
The fact that those succesful campaigns were both led by young women is really subversive for Japan’s reality. A reality that consists of teaching the young to keep quiet and defer to their elders. As a result the most powerful political and business leaders are unsurprisingly men in their 70s, 80s or even 90s. And just like that Japan’s gender gap is the largest among advanced economies.
A woman’s role in Japan is being obediend and in the service of others. They lack representation and are discouraged into going after leadership posititions, both in state and business. They are expected to become stay - at - home mothers after giving birth. So women who decide to have a family are becoming fewer and fewer and birth rates are dropping. Even fewer choose to define the norm and claim their rights. In a country where it remained legal for husbands to murder wives for infidelity until 1908, being a feminist seems like a bad joke to a significant part of Japanese society.
But things are heating up. The above examples of young women expressing anger and being respected for that has given the push to all young women to consider a change in attitude. As all flash lights will be gathered in Japan for the Tokyo Olympics this summer, activists and human rights advocates could have a chance to enhance their movement. Would love to watch them turn this into their advantage. And Japanese goverment respond consensually.
My thoughts go back to great grandmother’s story. After spending few days crying over her pilow with an empty stomach she took a decision. To survive. So she carefully removed some food from the pot before her husband’s favorite stew became covered in thin crust. And ate it just as he was around the corner coming back from work…
I am always terrified to think what women have gone through, the oppressed feelings, the violence. Things like that can’t still be happening but they do. It’s the patriarchy infused in every aspect of our lives. We need to grab every chance we got and change it. Everywhere. Even at the world’s third largest economy…
Credits:
Opening photo is artwork “Women speak out” by Franziska Barczyk.
For more information about sexism in Japan you can click here, here, here and here(in Greek only).
Can ethical consumption exist in fashion?
I was preparing an Instagram guide the other day with several things I wish to own in the near furure. Things I thought might interest fasfem’s little community. While picking up staff, a feeling of frustration began to take over me. Because I was making the guide with the goal of ethical consumption in mind…But what does that even mean?
I paused the guide and did what I do most of the times when numb and indecisive. I googled.
Ethical consumerism: practiced through the buying of ethically - made products that support small scale manufacturers and local artisans, protect animals and the environment.
Yes, that was actually what I had in mind. To buy from brands that actually try to make things better or buy second hand. A form of BUYcott where I support those whose actions align with my ethics. A form of action through my wallet.
It is not unusal for a consumer nowadays to expect companies to have a purpose. According to the 2017 Weber Shandwick’s research, The Company behind the Brand: In Goodness We Trust, 46% of global consumers are increasingly buying from companies or brands that make them feel happy and good, and 30% are increasingly buying from companies that have a social purpose or strive to make a positive contribution to the world or market they operate in. You see consumers are in need to rise up and fix a broken world themselves. They also look up to brands who make a strong effort to be part of the solution. Because even when investors seem to decrease when a brand chooses the clear path, sales do not.
I am not alone for sure. As a woman, I even belong to the part of the consuming force who are more empathic and willing to buycott. So why don’t I feel like I am making an impact most of the time? Because I actually DON’T. There so many issues that remain unresolved in fact and in my mind.
Big supply chains, where the origins of goods are somehow lost until they are delivered, could be the first. Sometimes it is impossible to know who made our clothes and under which circumstanses. Brands on the other hand who claim to support charity have been exposed to use the cause as another form of marketing strategy. A strategy that can be enhanced by the smart use of social media platforms. Which surely I am not against at when it actually makes a difference. But in many cases the support is just a very pety amount of money in comparison to the actual profit from a product being labeled as ‘ethical’.
And then there is the paradox of higher prices. Due to raw materials quality, transparency in manufatcturing and distribution and small scale production, most of ethical choices are more expensive. I get it. But I can’t stop thinking about the fact that people of lower income are excluded from the so called ethical consumerism because they just can’t afford it. Is ditching a coat from ZARA in order to buy from a smaller sustainable brand just not possible for some? How can we reverse that just by changing shopping habits?
I know that there are no right or wrong anwers sometimes. There are a lot of things to take under consideration and lots of systemic issues to be examined further. I have decided to think things through on a personal scale. What is there possible for me as person to do in order to help? Educate myself better. Try and shop by people whom I look up to. Small scale businesses whose products are made with love and lots of effort. People I actually know personally sometimes. According to my income with no guilt. Take part in actions that lead to change. Support causes each way possible. Just do the best I can. Hope that in the post pandemic era the lessons are actually learned. And allow myself to take some joy while purchasing..
For some interesting views about ethical consumerism you can read here, here and here. For data about ethical consumerism in pandemic here. I leave you to go and finally finish my reading on Fashionopolis…
Credits:
Photographer Craig McDean captured the above picture for British Vogue February 2019. Styling by Grace Coddington.
A mommy's tale
Just as I was sitting down to write, all of a sudden, Les Jours Tristes by Yann Tiersen’s soundrack for Amelie movie was on the radio. Dropped the pencil and keyboard and rushed to find and play the album. It was since the day we were coming back from hospital with our newborn Nike that those sounds have reached upon my ears. I was at the back seat with the sleeping baby next to me, watching Athens city lights fade away. Even though my house is so close I felt like I am kissing the city goodbye…
Following days were chaotic. “It’s only natural” everybody reassured me. “Your life now changes for good”. But while sitting among breast pumps and dirty diapers, in the few moments of the day that my thinking wasn’t blurred, the little voice in my head kept asking : “You will write again. Won’t you?”
I am not the kind of woman who looked forward to becoming a mother. According to societal norms I was late to the motherhood game-39 years old-and lucky to have played it without trouble. A kind of luck I was too sleepless to realise back then. I had just finished my Msc in Fashion studies, thesis composition pending, and dreamt of creating fasfem.com. These were parts of my the dreamlife I wished to create for myshelf. I was collapsing to the idea of giving it all up. “Fashion and culture through feminist lens”. How on earth does this feel relevant while googling about breast feeding tips and going back to work 20(!) days after delivering?
There comes to mind an older statement by Marina Abramovic who confessed to have gone through three abortions because she was convinced that becoming a mother would put an end to her artistic endeavors. So this is where it came to. We have created a world where women have claimed their rights after decades of feminist battles and at the same time time are sent back to 1950 the moment they become mothers. They are forced to deal with delimmas and proconceptions that no man - and sometimes even childless women - ever have to in the course of their lives. Academic Andrea O’Reilly had to create the term “matricentric feminism” about this and point out the gap in the feminist theory concerning motherhood and the way it is perceived by society. Because “women have been oppressed by patriarchy both as women and mothers”. She was referring to all mothers, not just the biological ones.
And now come to mind pregnant Slick Woods walkin down the catwalk at the Rihanna Savage x Fenty NYFW September 2018 fashion show. A glowing godess who few hours after the show gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Radiating creativity and power. Stating she “can do whatever she wants”. Of course she can. She just delivered a complete human being to this world.
Women as mothers - according to behavioral neuroscience - develop ecxeptional resilience and out of the box thinking skills. Their creativity is at a peak moment with intuition and empathy following along. But society chooses to ignore these traits and trap new mothers into a never ending role exchanging game. Instead of supporting them providing care and facilities, new mothers are forced to fit into molds out of their shape, burdened with guilt, denied the right to express their unique identities. Just to become “good mothers” whatever that means.
With few delays and lots of support from my loved ones, I managed to complete my thesis. With much more delays and guilt for stealing away precious time with my daughter, fasfem.com was launched. I realised that when I allow whatever feels natural to me be expressed I become a better mother. And as a mother I am more creative and effective. Because time is limited so I do my best with what I have. After that, I enjoy returning to my family and smile. A smile that nearly got lost for good. So I am commited from now on to talk about these staff bacause someone has to in order to witness real change.
The album stopped playing. How majestic the music of Yann Tiersen! I am thinking…in an imaginary scenario of a sequel of Amelie the heroine could become a mother. Is it possible for her to stop being this sensitive creature who spread the joy all around, to lose her identity, just because she had to take care of a little baby? I wonder….
Credits:
This essay was firstly published on ELLE Greece magazine, March 2021 issue, as part of the article “Φωνές Γυναικών” .
Drawing “Radiant Milk” by Hein Koh.
"I want a wife"
I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am A Wife. And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.
Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is obviously looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?
I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and, if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife to keep track of the children’s doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children’s clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturant attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife’s income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife is working.
I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue to care for me and my children when I need a rest and change of scene.
I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife’s duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course of studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have written them.
I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life.
When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who will take care of the babysitting arrangements. When I meet people at school that I like and want to entertain, I want a wife who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about things that interest me and my friends. I want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us.
And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night out by myself.
I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies. And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to relate to people as fully as possible.
If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.
When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife’s duties.
My God, who wouldn’t want a wife?
A 70s feminist manifesto
The above essay was published in Μs. magazine co-founded by Gloria Steinem and Dorothy Pitman Hughes in 1971.
Judy Brady Syfers has brilliantly outlined in this short piece the labor performed at home in addition to the paid work. A labor that mostly burdens women until this very day…
Fasfem watches : Alexandria on beauty
Women in politics is something that really interests a fasfemer; we care for reinventing our realities remember?
Alexandria Ocasio - Cortez is the female politician who has embedd in her personal ways all things fasfem stands for. She claims her feminine power and stands against the culture of diminishing women while putting on her make up, as you can watch in the video below :
We care for our style and beauty because we feel like it, it makes us strong and better at dealing with our every day challenges, not frivolous as some wants us to believe…
So put on your red lip and smile…it is your right to do so after all!
Credits : picture captured by Mark Peterson for New Yorker magazine.
Laila and the edible
So much information don’t you think? We live in the era of constant and unstoppable receiving without even having the chance to filter…Our minds being inflated with fake news, true news - does that term even exist? - alarming details about the pandemic, the climate change, the upcoming economical depression, the conspiracy theories, the fascists on the rise, the refugee crisis and few good news for the required antithesis.
But our minds still need to be able to perform and keep us on track. In that case, a break from all of the above is a matter of life and death right now. I started to try and find ways to distract. Quit overthinking and analysing for a few moments. One of the things that allow me to do that is cooking. And watching other people to cook as well. Following the stories they build alongside their dishes..
Laila is one of those story tellers. She is a true artist who creates marvelous little universes using the edible. Yes. You can eat everything. But everything looks so well established you might hesitate smashing it with your teeth, just for a few moments at least! Cause everything looks wildly delicious as well…
Laila was born to Egyptian father and Turkish mother and grew up in Cairo. Influenced by her father who was experimenting with food, she started cooking by using a spiral - bound thick cookbook that her family owned. She and her sous chef sister started to give those recipes a try, they even evolved into having “phases”, something that characterises her work until now. Phases are about a six months to one year period where she is fixated to find the perfect version of one ingridient or recipe.
So she bacame a food expert who relocated in New York 11 years ago after her studies in university of Miami. She hosts catering events that enhance creative communication while…eating. Her works of art are being consumed and, you know, pooped! That is actually what attracts her the most; the ephemerality of the matter. Her interest in history and materials infuse into working with textural ceramics, interactive foods and participation rituals. People are invited to play with and dig out the food and, while doing so, they become part of telling stories and creating memories…
Hosting appeals to me as well…I truly enjoy preparation, searching for menu ideas and visiting the market to find the best ingredients. Music and decorations play a key role…and the drinks of course! I need to go easy on the stress thing though, I ‘ve been fighting with perfectionism all my life. But now in the Covit-19 era home entertaining might be all we have…so we should be able to enjoy it as much as we can, shoudn’t we?
Here are some hosting tips from Laila’s cool perspective I intend to bring more of in my life:
Tips for home entertaining:
- shop abroad
- let obsessions take over
- prep in advance so you can enjoy your own dinner
- play with proportions
- for dessert, small can be big
I enjoyed researching for Laila so much. She is a bright young woman who walks in parallel ways with her also creative partner Omar Sosa, co-founder of Apartamento magazine. As a constantly evolving and caring human being, didn’t hesitate to have fostered a baby lamp in her aparment for six weeks or declare she daydreams about becoming a neurosurgeon (!). And what a great sense of personal style - like all the creative and brilliand women of this world. Take a look at this marvelous new collaboration of hers and you will know what I mean…
“Always go bigger” she claims.
And I couldn’t agree more…
